Dateline San Diego.
Friday and Saturday will be recording breaking temperatures in San Diego. Governor Mike has issued a house-wide emergency due to these high temperatures. "This is not a joking matter. There are lives at stake here", proclaimed the Governor at the signing of the declaration this morning in the lustrous dinning room.
With this particular declaration, citizens without central air condition systems shall refrain from house work until after the sun has set for the day. Citizens are expected to lounge and walk the dog a minimum number of times to ensure there are no animal accidents on the carpet at the bottom of anyone's stairs.